Narcissistic personality disorder
DA is an interesting place for an artist to hang out and share opinions and views but for a psychologist it's a much more fascinating place than it might first appear. Don't get me wrong, I am primarily an artist, but I've always been interested in people; studying and working with people has given me some extra insight into some of my interactions. I'm posting some of this so I can share some information and opinion - I didn't write most of this so it's not my opinion - it is the clinically accepted diagnosis of this disorder. But, for those of you who have 'shared' some common experiences with a writer (you know who he is) and a different set of people who have shared experiences with an 'artist' (you know who that is)...it might help to understand what went wrong. It had absolutely nothing to do with me (or you)...Those two gentlemen (you know who you are) are clearly not operating at the same level as most of the rest of us. For me, psychology gives me the keys to unlock the doors and, in understanding why someone attacked and insulted me in a way that was completely out of proportion to the original (perceived) slight, allows me to 'let it go'.
Anyhoo...here is the reason that these men, probably, behaved the way they did - and it's not because I'm a man hating lesbian ;D
Narcissistic personality disorder
What is it exactly?
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
Narcissism is a term used to describe a focus on the self and self-admiration that is taken to an extreme. The word “narcissism” comes from a Greek myth in which a handsome young man named Narcissus sees his reflection in a pool of water and falls in love with it.
Narcissistic personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called dramatic personality disorders. People with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, and a distorted self-image. Narcissistic personality disorder is further characterized by an abnormal love of self, an exaggerated sense of superiority and importance, and a preoccupation with success and power. However, these attitudes and behaviors do not reflect true self-confidence. Instead, the attitudes conceal a deep sense of insecurity and a fragile self-esteem. People with this personality disorder also tend to set unrealistic goals.
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, which is in the same category as antisocial and borderline personality disorders.
NPD behaviours
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:
- Believing that you're better than others
- Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
- Exaggerating your achievements or talents
- Expecting constant praise and admiration
- Believing that you're special and acting accordingly
- Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
- Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
- Taking advantage of others
- Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
- Being jealous of others
- Believing that others are jealous of you
- Trouble keeping healthy relationships
- Setting unrealistic goals
- Being easily hurt and rejected
- Having a fragile self-esteem
- Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.
When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don't receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may insist on having "the best" of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.
But underneath all this behavior often lies a fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.
NPD Causes/Risk Factors
It's not known what causes narcissistic personality disorder. As with other mental disorders, the cause is likely complex. The cause may be linked to a dysfunctional childhood, such as excessive pampering, extremely high expectations, abuse or neglect. It's also possible that genetics or psychobiology — the connection between the brain and behavior and thinking — plays a role in the development of narcissistic personality disorder.
- An oversensitive temperament at birth;
- Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback;
- Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for bad behaviors in childhood;
- Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents, other family members, or peers;
- Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or abilities by adults;
- Severe emotional abuse in childhood;
- Unpredictable or unreliable care giving from parents;
- Learning manipulative behaviors from parents;
- Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem.
Children who learn from their parents that vulnerability is unacceptable may lose their ability to empathize with others' needs. They may also mask their emotional needs with grandiose, egotistical behavior that's calculated to make them seem emotionally "bulletproof."Some narcissistic traits are common and a normal developmental phase. When these traits are compounded by a failure of the interpersonal environment and continue into adulthood, they may intensify to the point where NPD is diagnosed.
Links to sources - www.mayoclinic.com/health/narc…
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissi…
The saddest thing about all this is that, clearly...those people I've come across won't recognise themselves and, most likely, not seek any kind of treatment. My understanding is that any personality disorder is particularly hard to treat - I've come across more than a few people with personality disorders in my life (and in my work) and I don't think they even want to change let alone are capable of change - change requires some humility and the ability to empathise, reflect and introspect and they aren't usually capable of any of those things.
I'm interested in all opinions on this or any subject 
Commenting on other people's work....
I think I need to learn to keep my mouth shut....I commented on someone's comic page - I thought I was being friendly and helpful and it was, genuinely, meant in the spirit sharing my knowledge. Well...it really back fired as I appear to have upset the artist - then got accused of "complaining" about his comic!!! I'd have to have been invested in his 'product' to have been bothered to complain about it...sigh!
I think, from now on, I will only comment and advise, when I have been asked, specifically....as some people really aren't mature enough to take on board constructive criticism 
Sorry to anyone I have upset with my comments...I will keep my opinions to myself from now on...
So...I have something I want to get off my chest...and it's an ample chest so bear with me
I was perusing the Job offers forum when I noticed this 'job' offer: forum.deviantart.com/jobs/offe…
www.amazon.co.uk/Flesh-Field-e…
I´m looking for an artist who can turn it into a black and white graphic novel.
The style I´m looking for is a la Frank Miller, but I´m open to styles.
Payment, we can do this two ways;
1. 10 dollars per page, and NO ownership of the graphic novel.
2. 5 dollars per page, and ownership of the novel.
The choice is yours.
Before you mail me, read the extract of the book, and get a feel of what the story is about. I prefer to work with someone who is as passionate about the story as I am. Feel free to suggest ideas etc. creative input is always welcome. Last but not least - show me what you can do...
As you can imagine, it got my goat - so I posted a little joke about how his post and the excerpt I read of his book had given me a good laugh. A couple of hours later I noticed he'd responded and so I went back and read the responses he gave to all the people who'd posted on his thread about the pittance he was offering. A few other people said similar things - some were quite creative and funny in their responses. Well, matey comes back decides to insult everyone who commented on his lack of morals. He was rude, sarcastic, abrasive and petulant....and it seriously pissed me off so I back and forthed with him a little bit.
I had fun through the day, reading people's creative, witty and insightful responses but this guy really is a piece of work. A bigger butthole I've never come across and I've come across a few. And it's bad enough that he thinks his crap book is worth hours and hours of someone else's time but he's not even ashamed of the fact that he's pissing all over artists by making such a derisory offer.
My revenge??? I wrote a shitty review of his shitty book on Amazon for all the world to see.....I would invite everyone else who reads this to do the same. You can read the first couple of pages of the book with Amazon preview - but if you get passed the first couple of paragraphs you deserve a prize....
www.amazon.co.uk/Flesh-Field-e…
Write a review for me and paste it in the comments here and lets show this arsehole how creative a community we can be
UPDATE:
He has now posted a 'review' on Amazon :
This is the author writing: these two persons, rather i'd prefer to call them internet stalkers, Cherrypixie and Mrs. Venn are on a personal crusade against me and horror books. My only crime is to defend horror books, and for that im persecuted by these two mentally deranged talibans of horror books AND THEY have not even READ my book. Yet they review it - I will urge Amazon to take legal action against the two for falsely submitting information.
I'm a "mentally deranged Taliban" ???
UPDATE
Mr Vardar is now threatening to sue me. Not sure our libel laws cover this and it's a damned expensive hobby protecting your 'good' name I've emailed his publisher
What's up wit that?
So, I notice a lot of photographs of people naked...and I'm not sure what to make of it, to be honest. I'm not a prude or anything - I even have the mature filter turned off (go me!)...but taking a picture of your big stiff cock, or your old wrinkly body, painted gold while you prance about in ladies stockings with a chrysanthemum up your ass hole isn't really my idea of art. And I have to ask if it's anyone's idea of art (I'm quite prepared to debate the issue).
My own view - and bear in mind I have a degree in psychology not fine art - is that the people who get up in the morning and decide to put on a bright pink adult diaper and photograph themselves sucking a big red dildo while they pee themselves with pleasure, are lonely. Yep, that's it...my semi-professional opinion is it's loneliness and it drives us to want the attention of strangers. The other possibility is that they are having a good old wank at my expense...because they know I'm slightly disturbed by the images that pop into my deviant watch box in the morning.
Just to be clear, though, this isn't a female - male thing...don't like looking at some stringy bitch with a camera shoved so close up her 'gina that I can see what she had for lunch, either...
PK and I are getting to the point where we feel like proper professionals and, as such, we felt we really ought to work out a pricing structure for commissions.
Click on the link above